Ask My Little Buddha

December 22, 2009 | Print

What can I do for a two year old who is hooked on the bottle, and for the mom who has been allowing it? (I am equally as hooked.) I know that the rule is off the bottle by one-ish, but that did not happen for us. As a source of comfort and quiet, we have all learned to love that bottle. What do I do? Help! There have to be some tricks out there.

We all slip into less than ideal patterns with our kids so that we can make it through the day. We’ve depended on and then had to wean ourselves from night feeding babies back to sleep, pacifiers, juice bottles, and thumbsucking to name just a few. Looking back, we realize that often the key to these transitions is letting ourselves off the hook, so we have the patience, presence and strength to get through the whining and crying we’ve been trying to avoid.

Fortunately, two year olds get over these changes more quickly than we expect, though usually we have to live through it to know. The general outline is tapering down on the bottle until we stop altogether, and a week or two later they rarely ask. We might start by limiting the bottle to the two or three times a day she’s most attached to having it. For meals, we would serve water or milk in a cup (we love these kids drinking glasses), and then the bottle could be an in between meals or before bed option that we slowly trade for a new routine at those times–a special morning snack, snuggling in our laps while reading books before nap or bed, singing them songs as they lie down to sleep. Changing which parent makes meals or does bedtime may create a novelty which distracts toddlers so they forget to ask for a bottle.

As we create new routines, we also make sure our kids get lots of exercise so when they go to bed rest comes more easily. We might sit down before the transition and map out a loose plan of activities for mornings and afternoons. That way we create a form to fall back on during the bumpy parts, and the activities help kids focus on something else other than the bottle.

We also give our toddler simple explanations about the change. In the morning before she asks for a bottle, we might make a favorite or fun new snack for her and say, “We’re having apples dipped in yogurt for snack today.” When she asks for the bottle, we respond, “We’re going to have a bottle before nap, right now we have these yummy apples and yogurt.” If she gets upset, we sit with her on the floor and acknowledge the change, “I see you want your bottle.” We might then redirect her attention to the snack, or if it’s clear she won’t eat, move on to another idea like playing in the yard with a favorite toy. Toddlers will likely eat later or we bring a food she likes with us so she won’t get cranky from hunger.

We take it easy on ourselves as we’re going through these transitions too. Once we’re on the other side, we appreciate these changes as great moments–together with our toddler, we’ve accomplished a milestone of sorts.

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