We might take a look at what each parent does with the child–they may be angling for Dad’s frequent trips to the park or ice cream store. Or if Mom’s around more, Dad can seem new and exciting. Sometimes a new sibling can alter family dynamics as everyone adjusts. Three year olds may enjoy having an activity to do nearby when Mom or Dad is busy with the baby. It’s not about changing how each parent interacts with the child, more that parents check in and talk together about what might be consistent and what’s different. In our experience parent preferences are often stages that eventually shift, and then shift again.

We let the child’s desire or choice be okay when it works for the family. When it doesn’t, we explain that they will have an outing or spend time with Dad at a specific time later, and allow the child a chance to express their disappointment without taking it personally. Creating routines may help as well. If Dad’s home in the evenings, that can be a nice time at the end of the day for Mom to take a break while he handles bedtime. We took advantage of that one!

Fortunately, two year olds get over these changes more quickly than we expect, though usually we have to live through it to know. The general outline is tapering down on the bottle until we stop altogether, and a week or two later they rarely ask. We might start by limiting the bottle to the two or three times a day she’s most attached to having it. For meals, we would serve water or milk in a cup (we love these kids drinking glasses), and then the bottle could be an in between meals or before bed option that we slowly trade for a new routine at those times–a special morning snack, snuggling in our laps while reading books before nap or bed, singing them songs as they lie down to sleep. Changing which parent makes meals or does bedtime may create a novelty which distracts toddlers so they forget to ask for a bottle.

As we create new routines, we also make sure our kids get lots of exercise so when they go to bed rest comes more easily. We might sit down before the transition and map out a loose plan of activities for mornings and afternoons. That way we create a form to fall back on during the bumpy parts, and the activities help kids focus on something else other than the bottle.

We also give our toddler simple explanations about the change. In the morning before she asks for a bottle, we might make a favorite or fun new snack for her and say, “We’re having apples dipped in yogurt for snack today.” When she asks for the bottle, we respond, “We’re going to have a bottle before nap, right now we have these yummy apples and yogurt.” If she gets upset, we sit with her on the floor and acknowledge the change, “I see you want your bottle.” We might then redirect her attention to the snack, or if it’s clear she won’t eat, move on to another idea like playing in the yard with a favorite toy. Toddlers will likely eat later or we bring a food she likes with us so she won’t get cranky from hunger.

We take it easy on ourselves as we’re going through these transitions too. Once we’re on the other side, we appreciate these changes as great moments–together with our toddler, we’ve accomplished a milestone of sorts.

The key is not to panic, scold or celebrate their accomplishment. We calmly say, “Oh, I see you got out of your crib. I’ll tuck you back in bed for your rest.” We walk or carry them back to their room. We put them back in bed, explaining, “Cribs are not for climbing. You could fall and hurt yourself. I’ll pull up the side of the crib so you are safe inside for your rest time.”

We put them back in bed, leave the room, and wait outside their closed door. Soon, we hear the crib rattle, followed by a thump when they hit the floor. We walk back into the room and put them to bed, reminding them again it’s not safe to climb on the crib. This scenario may repeat itself for the entire nap period. We don’t talk to them after the first few interceptions. The key is showing little emotion and conversation as we return them to the crib so we’re not adding to their fun.

Amelia fell and hurt herself on her 6th or 7th climb, which helped prove Kelly’s safety point. It was only a small bump, but she never climbed out of the crib again. If we’re worried our kids may fall and hurt themselves, we leave the bedroom door slightly open so we can watch them and help if needed. We try not to stay in their rooms unless there’s no other way to watch and reach them in time, our presence can distract them from sleeping or create a new need to have us stay during nap.

Older toddlers, two and a half to three, may enjoy climbing a step stool (or small step ladder) to swing their legs over a lowered crib rail. The stool makes them self-sufficient which they like, and is a safer form of climbing. It’s important toddlers are adept at using the step stool, otherwise it’s a source of more falls and injuries. And they may only climb the step stool when an adult is with them–we put it away when we’re not around.

As we keep up the routine of returning toddlers to their crib and give their new trick little energy, many kids will move on from crib climbing. Planning lots of physical activity for the mornings also helps, so when they go down for nap they’re tired.

If a child continues climbing, it may be time to transition to a toddler or regular bed that’s low to the ground. The toddler beds use a crib mattress and feel cozy for the kids. Some cribs convert to a bed, usually with an additional conversion kit. Toddlers may prefer sleeping in a bed rather than crib and take to the new routine easily. More often, though, kids go through a period of learning to stay in bed for their rest. We return them to bed with little fanfare just as we do for crib climbing.

As we go through these sleep milestones, we always remember that eventually we’ll tuck our kids in bed, turn out the light and they will snuggle into their covers and sleep.

We have yet to see an organic Pack n Play. For now, we put the organic mattress on top of the hard Pack n Play pad. We follow the same routine with the Arms Reach Co-Sleeper, though for sleeping, companies are designing organic options like the Seed Organic Cradle and the Organic Orbit Bassinet. An organic Pack n Play could be next.

This eHow beeswax wood finish recipe is similar to the one Lyndsey used. We also love the Pacific Rim Woodworking Maple cribs which have a non-toxic hand rubbed finish of beeswax and tung oil.

If a child holds their poop, we back off using the potty. We let them know it’s okay to poop the way they want, and we could care less what they choose. Most important, we let go of our own anxiety and concerns. We remind ourselves that at some point they’ll be out of diapers and we’re comfortable with whenever that happens.

We also adjust their diets to include stool softening foods (yams, prunes and prune juice are great) and avoid constipating ones.

And we add lots of epsom salts to their baths. If they have pain from constipation at any time of day, we put them in an epsom salt back for awhile.

Once the poops aren’t painful anymore, the child usually feels better about the process. We watch their cues about how to proceed, and always take it slow.

The butterfly, dragonfly and Nils on the flying goose are favorites. Older kids like them too, the mobiles add a feeling of fantasy. We often hang a mobile in an area of the bedroom or play space that needs more brightness, energy or color.

If you’re putting him down for two naps a day (as you start this one nap transition), he could be telling you he’s ready for just one nap. He may fight you because he feels comfortable testing the boundaries with mom.

We would try putting him down for one nap, a bit earlier in the day (11 am) and see if the problem continues.

If he does still resist with you, try putting him down exactly like dad puts him down for naps, or change the way you put him down to something completely new (different from your and dad’s routines).

The transition to one nap can be bumpy as it coincides with a stage when toddlers challenge parents. With most toddlers the afternoon nap becomes easy once the pattern sets.

Siblings Without Rivalry: How to Help Your Children Live Together So You Can Live Too by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish (How to Talk So Kids Will Listen) is an easy read and helpful for understanding sibling dynamics and the feelings of unfairness brothers and sisters negotiate. Faber and Mazlish offer examples of how to help siblings work through their conflicts in different scenarios. While the situations often involve older children, they can be adapted for preschoolers.

In practice, we observe our kids’ dynamics just as we do when managing toddler conflicts. Noticing which child is tired or cranky. We also manage the rhythm of the day. If the kids are picking on each other in the house, we announce it’s time for riding bikes, taking a walk or going on a bug hunt. If everyone’s tired, we find a favorite book for a quiet story time or pull out crayons for drawing (helpful to have separate crayon boxes).

When we do intervene, we sit on the floor with the kids and tell them that each will have a chance to explain what’s happening. If the kids are crying, we let them finish crying before they speak. Then we ask one child to start (“John, you may tell us what happened”). When he’s done, the other child speaks (“And now Kate, you may tell us what happened”). After everyone’s aired their frustrations and concerns, we summarize what we’ve heard in the most simple terms. Together we consider how to resolve the situation: Do you have an idea of how to make this better? What if we got another truck? What if this half of the fort is a school and the other half an airport?

The sitting down and voicing complaints often releases the tension enough that the kids go back to playing together. They create a solution for themselves. If they don’t, we suggest taking a break and/or a new activity.

For babies, the symptoms are thick, white patches on their tongue (different from milk patches which are thin) and/or the sides of their mouths. Moms may experience shooting pain throughout nursing and red, irritated (itchy, burning, flaky or bumpy), sore nipples.

Often thrush happens without an obvious cause. Antibiotics can be a source because they kill the normal bacteria that keep the yeast from growing. We’ve found that wearing damp breast pads in bras triggers thrush.

While it’s common, thrush can be confusing to diagnose. Breastfeeding nipples may appear slightly red as usual (especially when nursing a newborn) and the shooting pain during feedings may seem like normal letdown. It’s important to get a diagnosis as soon as possible, a delay in treatment can make thrush worse and harder to clear. If we sense something is different than normal, we call our lactation consultant or pediatrician. Visiting in person is important so they can see what we’re describing.

Conventional treatment is nystatin (an antifungal) medicine for baby and nystatin or hydrocortisone cream for mom. Moms apply a cream to their nipples after nursing, and wipe it off before the next feeding.

For babies, we use a cotton gauze (like a first aid square), and rub their nystatin medicine on the yeast patches in their mouths. By applying it directly, they swallow less of the medicine.

The yeast infections for moms does not always respond to nystatin or hydrocortisone cream. A prescription cream of bactroban, lotrimin and hydrocortisone is very effective in these cases.

Alternative treatments include applying baking soda, grapefruit seed extract or gentian violet.

Whichever approach we try, we take acidophilus/bifidus for us and our babies, and cut down on sugars in our diet–both reduce yeast in the body. Disinfecting bras, burp cloths, pacifiers, etc. is also important.

Kelly’s had thrush a few times, once with a nine month old and then a newborn. The first time, it got better within a few days of using nystatin. With her newborn, she went undiagnosed for a week. The thrush got very painful during nursing. After trying grapefruit seed extract, baking soda, and nystatin, she used the bactroban cream and it got better within a few days.

Thrush can be confusing and scary at first, but once we figure out a plan to handle it, we feel calmer. We may try alternative approaches at first, and if we don’t notice a change within a day or two, get additional help. There are also oral medications for moms, which can be discussed with a pediatrician.

For more information, alternative and conventional treatments, and how to disinfect toys and clothes:

The Pump Station

Dr. Sears

Dr. Jay Gordon

Kellymom (no relation)