What I Would Tell Her: 28 Devoted Dads on Bringing Up, Holding On To and Letting Go of Their Daughters

June 8, 2010 | On our bookshelf

Highlights: What I Would Tell Her is a collection of honest and touching essays edited by Andrea N. Richesin (Because I Love Her: 34 Women Writers Reflect on the Mother-Daughter Bond) exploring relationships between dads and daughters from birth through teenager and adulthood. The writers reveal their hopes and fears for their daughters, the desire to always be there for them, and their acceptance that growing up involves sadness and joy. The range of father perspectives–older, young, gay, single, married, step–weave into a textured portrayal of the father-daughter bond. A few of our favorites: On Inexplicable Weeping by Dean Bakopoulos and Late-Onset Parenthood by Rand Richards Cooper.

Lowlights: None. The stories are deep and moving for mothers too. We smiled and cried.

Why We Like It: What I Would Tell Her offers a moment to reflect upon and value our lives as parents. These father-writers share their specific experiences, which make the essays so personal, and capture the intimate emotions of parenting. A great Father’s Day gift, even for dads who rarely pick up parenting books.

Age: All parents, and specifically fathers, with children of any age.

Parent/Child Relationships with Mary Hartzell

May 18, 2010 | On our bookshelf

Highlights: A friend gave us a copy of Parent/Child Relationships, an audio program about communicating with children by the child development specialist and parent educator, Mary Hartzell. Hartzell outlines simple approaches to help parents connect with our child’s point of view and avoid disruptive power dynamics. She gives examples of potential moments of conflict and how to manage them. Her insights on the subtle ways that we can support children in owning their achievements for themselves are in line with Carol Dweck’s research on creating a growth mindset and love of learning.

Lowlights: Hartzell shares a few basics, for more detailed discussion and advice read the excellent Parenting from the Inside Out. Some of the material overlaps with the book.

Why we like it: Short and sweet–we can listen in the car on the way to pick up the kids from school. Hearing Hartzell’s language and tone aloud helps us absorb the concepts in a deeper way than just reading her book. Also, it’s easy to listen to the CD again as a refresher.

Child’s age: Infant through preschooler.

Race to Nowhere: The Dark Side of America’s Achievement Culture

February 12, 2010 | On our bookshelf

Highlights: Race to Nowhere: The Dark Side of America’s Achievement Culture is a documentary examining the unhealthy aspects of our educational system. Director Vicki Abeles started making the film after seeing unsettling changes in her own children as their school pressures increased. She talks with teachers, parents, psychologists and students about what is happening in schools and homes across the country–exhausted kids losing their love of learning to their fear of not getting good grades.

Experts discuss the impact of homework on learning–for elementary school it has no benefit, in middle school the results are mixed, and in high school up to two hours of homework improves learning, but no more than two hours. More

NurtureShock: New Thinking About Children by Po Bronson & Ashley Merryman

December 9, 2009 | On our bookshelf

Highlights: In NurtureShock: New Thinking About Children, journalists Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman explain in layman’s terms the current research on children’s development and parenting in eight fascinating areas–sleep, the effect of praise, lying, conversations about race, testing for kindergartners, sibling relationships, teen rebellion, language development, self-control and children’s play. Bronson and Merryman’s writing reflects their respect for children. The book grew from their article “The Inverse Power of Praise” (now the first chapter), and they reveal surprising, even counter-intuitive, discoveries about how we can better support our kids. More

Your Child’s Strengths: Discover Them, Develop Them, Use Them

September 2, 2009 | On our bookshelf

Highlights: In Your Child’s Strengths: Discover Them, Develop Them, Use Them, educator Jenifer Fox lays the groundwork for parents to identify and nurture their children’s innate strengths, and in turn show their children how to encourage these strengths. Fox explains how our current educational model of finding weaknesses in children and “fixing” them developed. She then outlines a new approach of appreciating each child for who they actually are, and describes how this understanding supports children for greater fulfillment and joy in their lives. A former teacher and school principal, Fox currently consults with public and independent schools about her strengths based curriculum.

Lowlights: None!

Why we like it: Fox’s insights help us see our kids’ strengths and appreciate them in another way. The book opens our perspective so we also think differently about ourselves and what we have to contribute in the world. Really magical.

Child’s age: All ages.