Highlights:

In Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, psychologist Carol Dweck discusses praise in the context of growth and fixed mindsets. Her research finds that children praised generally for being smart or doing a good job become reluctant to try new tasks. They prefer to protect their track record of smart and good. She calls this perspective the fixed mindset. In contrast, children with a growth mindset believe they can learn more, get smarter with practice. They want to try new problems, they aren’t afraid to make mistakes because they see mistakes as part of the learning process.

Dweck notes that babies naturally have the growth mindset desire to learn. They take a step, fall and try again. She identifies the type of observations and reflections, the language parents can use to support young children as they mature. For example, when a child shows us their drawing we might point out a color or line we find striking, ask them how they used crayon to make those circles. As children get older, we note how hard they focused on dribbling the ball down the soccer field instead of relying on the blanket statement “good game”.

Lowlights: The book discusses the two mindsets in the context of business, sports and relationships in addition to parenting and school. Dweck cites many real life examples to prove her points and we skimmed some of those areas.

Why we like it: We love books like Mindset which outline research and provide practical advice. Mindset is a must read for its discussion of how kids shape their perceptions of their skills and capacity to learn. Dweck provides a framework for nurturing their growth mindset.

Age: All ages with research on school age children.

Highlights:

Lowlights: None. The stories are deep and moving for mothers too. We smiled and cried.

Why We Like It: What I Would Tell Her offers a moment to reflect upon and value our lives as parents. These father-writers share their specific experiences, which make the essays so personal, and capture the intimate emotions of parenting. A great Father’s Day gift, even for dads who rarely pick up parenting books.

Age: All parents, and specifically fathers, with children of any age.

Highlights:

Lowlights: Hartzell shares a few basics, for more detailed discussion and advice read the excellent Parenting from the Inside Out. Some of the material overlaps with the book.

Why we like it: Short and sweet–we can listen in the car on the way to pick up the kids from school. Hearing Hartzell’s language and tone aloud helps us absorb the concepts in a deeper way than just reading her book. Also, it’s easy to listen to the CD again as a refresher.

Child’s age: Infant through preschooler.

Experts discuss the impact of homework on learning–for elementary school it has no benefit, in middle school the results are mixed, and in high school up to two hours of homework improves learning, but no more than two hours. Students describe coming home from sports and other activities at seven at night, only to face three or four hours of homework. Kids are over-tired and stressed. Teachers struggle to foster children’s love of learning when federal and social expectations demand that children prove themselves by good test scores and AP classes. Schools are too often forced to teach for the test. A psychologist explains how kids lose a sense of themselves, and the role our culture of achievement plays in making kids feel unsuccessful unless they’re A students.

Lowlights: None.

Why we like it: The film features families who have found other approaches for their kids’ education, which we know exist, but listening to their decisions make these possibilities more real. We also left the theater inspired to think concretely about our family values, as well as what expectations we may unknowingly communicate to our kids.

Child’s age: Most of the children interviewed are in middle and high school. The insights of teachers and educators are relevant for all parents.

Highlights:

Lowlights: At times, their tone slips into sounding subjective when we’d prefer the research presented more factually.

Why we like it: A refreshing, open look at parenting told without an agenda other than to share the latest research. Fascinating details that make us think more deeply about and make changes in our approaches with the kids–from the importance of consistent discipline to the discovery that just 15 minutes more sleep a night makes a difference in a child’s behavior and development.

For more about the book and Po Bronson’s speaking events, see the NurtureShock site.

Lowlights: None!

Why we like it: Fox’s insights help us see our kids’ strengths and appreciate them in another way. The book opens our perspective so we also think differently about ourselves and what we have to contribute in the world. Really magical.

Child’s age: All ages.

The Business of Being Born traces the history of birth in the US, how we moved from midwives to doctors, and how that change affects the birth experience for women and their babies. The film also follows a midwife as she cares for pregnant women and delivers babies in New York City. Lake and Epstein demystify home birth, and start a conversation about birth that they’ve carried into their site, My Best Birth. My Best Birth offers pregnancy and birth information and resources, and currently features a webisode with Cindy Crawford sharing her decision to change from a hospital to home birth.

Lowlights: The film is pro natural childbirth and strongly portrays the less appealing details about hospital births.

Why we like it: Lake and Epstein share their birth stories as part of the film–Epstein becomes pregnant during the filming, and her birth is different than she had expected. With the film, site and recent book, Your Best Birth, they’re supporting women and their partners to get informed, have more conversations, and think through the birth process.

Journalist Emma Gilbey Keller (married to the Editor of the New York Times) shares her own path from career to kids and back to career on her own terms, then relates the challenges and successes of seven other women who’ve navigated marriages, kids and work lives.

The women all find jobs and support through the communities they create as mothers. Their husbands contribute to caring for the children in varying degrees, and the women go through different stages of intensity and creativity in their careers. The Comeback is best in its portrayal of original lives, how women decide what’s important to them and their particular families, pursue their dream jobs, and find success in compromise–or if not, make a change.

Lowlights: Not so much lowlights in the book, but reflective of our culture–Keller’s loss of confidence and sense she has nothing interesting to say at dinner parties when she stops working to stay at home, and the exhaustion some of the women suffer as they struggle to work and parent.

Why we like it: We’re inspired by these stories of reinvention, especially from the space of having young kids and wondering about the future. The marriage dynamics are interesting–as well as Keller’s conversations with the children (now adults and teenagers) about their perspectives of their family life.

Child’s age: For parents of all ages.

The film finds that city neighborhoods build community, while suburbs and organized children’s activities can isolate kids.

Lowlights: The strong point of view may not appreciate parents’ efforts to balance responsibilities and lifestyles.

Why we like it: A great, short film that gets us thinking about how we’re raising our kids as well as our own childhoods. We can see what our lives might look like if we lived in a different place, and how to incorporate some of those advantages into our current family experiences. The play expert’s insights about a class of children building a cardboard town and playing at a park are fascinating.

Child’s age: Any age.

Lowlights: Louv’s detailed approach can be methodical in places where we want him to jump ahead.

Why we like it: It’s worth getting through the slow parts–Last Child in the Woods feels like a must read as we consider the environment we want to create for our kids. Louv outlines the significance of giving children the opportunity to live and play in nature, and provides a map with simple, engaging ideas. The 2008 edition includes a long list of great nature activities for kids and families.

Child’s age: All ages.