I came to natural child development because I felt strongly about supporting my kids in developing into their authentic selves. As a parent, I give them space and boundaries so they can discover who they are and what they can do on their own. I restrain myself from muddying their waters with my expectations and definitions of what they should be. My natural child development approach started with reading books by Magda Gerber, the founder of Resources for Educarers (RIE) and taking a RIE class with Amelia. What I learned influenced how I spoke with the kids, the toys I chose for them and our daily routines.

To begin at the beginning, here are some posts we’ve written exploring aspects of the natural child development approach with babies:

1. Dear Parent: Caring for Infants with Respect and RIE: RIE is a great place to start thinking about parenting–concepts like authentic child, respect for the child and the parent, independence and boundaries. Dear Parent also describes how to create routines and environments that support babies as they grow.

2. Motor Skills: How Babies Learn to Sit, Crawl, Walk and Run.

3. Supporting Motor Skill Development: A few thoughts on the importance of naked floor time, bare feet and clothes that move with them.

4. Learning to sit on their own: We’re often asked why not prop up a baby in the sitting position on the ground if they can’t yet sit on their own? The difference between sitting on our lap and the floor.

5. Talking with Babies: Observe and Reflect are the foundations for conversations. From newborns to our now elementary age kids, we talk to them about what we’re doing and what we see them doing.

1. Our Eco-Friendly School Gear list includes lunch bags, food containers, and some other good tips to remember for a child’s school cubby.

2. This year’s addition to the Eco-Friendly School Gear are stainless steel food containers. We’re using the Kids Konserve Nesting Trio with soft tops and LunchBots Containers, which fit larger items and have stainless lids.

3. The Kids Konserve lunch kits offer one stop shopping and a great school fundraiser idea for September. They also raise parents’ awareness about packing lunches with reusable containers.

4. After trying a variety of water bottles, we find the 10 ounce Ecousable water bottle the perfect size and easy for kids to open and drink.

5. For delicious and nutritious foods to put inside all these containers, check out our School Lunch Ideas.

In the big picture, it’s good for children to test boundaries and make demands, to learn about compromise and not getting what they want. The question though, is what to do with a screaming child?

1. Let it happen. For parents, these big upsets can be jarring, exhausting, and when they happen in public, embarrassing. We stop ourselves from jumping to conclusions about why our kids are upset or restrict our child’s need to express their feelings. We hang in there, not giving in while also, once they’ve told us what they want, acknowledging their desires. We offer an alternative, redirect them to a new activity. Sometimes they’ll move on, or we may have to ride the emotional wave until they’re finished.

We try to stay objective and not take it personally. We remind ourselves that we’re not the only parent whose child screamed, “I hate you!” in the supermarket. We tell our child it’s not okay to talk to one another that way, give them other words to express their anger (“I’m angry at you!”) and leave as soon as possible.

2. Avoid triggers. We notice our three year-olds suffer from possession envy–as in I must have whatever my brother has, right NOW! So making sure there are two of everything can help, leaving favorite sand toys at home when we play at the park, noticing if more sleep is needed or less activities. In some cases, our kids’ bodies are craving more outside time to run and climb.

3. Empower the child. Children often erupt when they feel they’re not being heard or they feel stifled. Observing the build up to a child’s tantrums may help uncover if we could be listening better. Also, giving children jobs they can do on their own successfully can empower them to feel more in control. They appreciate when we offer choices, as simple as which shirt they want to wear, green or blue.

With toddlers, observing and reflecting what they’re exploring before directing them to what we want them to do can help them transition: “Oh, I see you’re closing and opening the cabinet. It makes a loud noise, doesn’t it?” Pause for a bit, then, “I have your shoes, we’ll put them on and go to the park.”

4. Remember it’s a stage. Our most challenging tantrum stage is three to four years old, give or take a few months on either side. Every one of our kids passed through this period. Some express louder and bigger upsets, others cry longer. The difficult moments are those that can’t seem to be resolved–our child makes an irrational demand (ice cream for dinner) and we can’t move them away from it. Some kids can’t unwind themselves without us meeting them partway. We eventually offer a compromise that leans in their favor–like one spoonful of ice cream, but only after dinner.

5. Be kind to yourself, your child and other tantrum enduring parents. The kindest thing another mom did for Lyndsey when her three year old was melting down on the sidewalk, was to come up to her and say gently, “I am so sorry. My three year-old laid himself out in the parking lot the other day at the market and stopped traffic.”

We’ve all been there. To calm our rattled nerves, we rely on old standbys–a walk around the neighborhood, an email or phone call to a friend, or a warm bath at the end of the day.

1. Late doesn’t mean hurry up. If we rush preschoolers in the morning, they cry or complain and we’re more late.

2. Still, some days there’s no time for eggs and toast. A banana on the way counts.

3. Kids pick out their outfits. Even if they don’t match and the shirt’s on backwards. We make sure they’re warm enough.

4. It doesn’t matter what other parents think. If our child’s wearing crazy clothes or hollering at drop off, we’re all doing the best we can.

5. Take it slow. Patience during the “Mommy don’t go!” mornings, and letting the kids adjust to school before trying ballet or T-ball. Depending on their personality, for three and four year olds just school can be plenty.

The garden is a huge source of activities for kids, and broadens their perspective about food–it’s worth the adventure!

1. Plan & Shop. We walk around the yard or patio to find a garden spot. Good sun and space for a few plants to grow, whether in a planter or the yard. Again, the idea is to start small. For supplies, the local gardening store has seeds and/or starter plants (starts) and organic compost. We ask their recommendations too, and might add a small shovel, gloves and wire frame for vine plants like tomatoes.

When choosing what to plant, we consider what we like to eat and what’s easy to grow given the season and climate. We try to find organic–Seeds of Change is a popular brand, and farmer’s markets often sell organic starts. We’ve grown tomatoes, carrots, beets, strawberries (in a metal tub that we later replanted with tulips in the spring), lettuce, artichokes (huge plant!), chard, green beans and butternut squash.

2. Plant. We fill the planter with compost, or if we’re planting in the yard, rake the dirt then mix with compost. For seed or starts, we dig a hole with our hands or shovel, then place them and cover up with more compost. We’ve learned to space out carrots and beets–if they’re too close together they don’t grow as large. Then, we water.

3. Water. Watering is great fun for toddlers and preschoolers because they can do it themselves with their kid-sized watering cans. We water every day in the hot summer, and watch what the plants need on cooler days. It’s easy to forget to water, so we try to get into a routine of checking the plants in the morning or after dinner.

4. Bugs. Bugs come along with the home garden thing. We’ve gotten used to them. The gardening store can help with natural options (make sure no chemicals). For home remedies, we use our Spider Spray as a bug deterrent, garlic and parsley tea, or 1/2 teaspoon dishsoap with water. We pour one of these potions in a sprayer and spray lightly over the plant. Slugs can be trickier, and may need some gardening store advice. We’ve heard that digging a hole near a plant and putting a cup of beer inside works well–slugs like the beer smell and fall into the cup.

5. Pick & Eat. Like the kids, we’re still amazed and proud when the food starts growing. They get a thrill out of picking a strawberry or tomato and eating it immediately. And, we all learn about ripening from tasting.

We steam the vegetables, make fruit bowls and try new recipes from cookbooks like Alice Waters’ The Art of Simple Food for inspiration. Sometimes we grow more than we can eat. The kids love delivering a basket of tomatoes to the neighbors, Lyndsey’s boys trade lettuce for their neighbor’s apples.

MOST IMPORTANT–A Simple Garden means trial and error and less is more. Even Wyatt who’s known as Farmer Browne gets bored planting all day. We break up the jobs, keep it easy, and let the garden be whatever it becomes for our family.

Oliver and his great grandma sitting on the porch.

Mother’s Day is a moment to recognize ourselves while we celebrate just being together with our families. We love flowers from the garden and scribbley drawings. And if someone happens to ask what else we really want for Mother’s Day, being moms, we’ve started a list.

On Mother’s Day we’d like to:

1. Lie down for at least 30 minutes, then read the paper or a book while drinking a cup of tea with honey.

2. Take a walk.

3. Appreciate and perhaps be appreciated for the fact that it is so much work.

4. Stay in the moment.

5. Listen more to our hearts and less to the thoughts hovering in our heads.

Happy Mother’s Day!

The experience is mostly survival with some spontaneous fun as we journey outside our safety zones of routine and home. Some young children are more comfortable traveling than others, and as they all get older it’s easier.

A few ideas for smoother travels:

1. Snacks. We present the kids with their own bag of snacks for the trip. On airplanes, the snack bag goes in their backpacks, or ours if they’re not old enough to carry one. Snacks may include prepackaged crackers, chips, granola bars, carrot sticks, nuts, peeled tangerines, apple slices, juice, raisins, and a water.

For shorter drives, we’ll put their favorite milk or diluted juice in a sippy cup by their seats for a surprise when they get in the car.

2. Toys. On those shorter drives, we leave a new ball or other little toy next to the sippy cup by their seats. Longer drives and airplanes we pack an activity bag that we give them at the start of the trip–or the snacks and toys are in one Surprise Bag. On car rides that take more than one day, we refill the Surprise Bag each morning.

We look for small toys that keep their fingers busy and are different than what they have at home. Anything with buttons or wheels and no noise. For art stuff, sticker books, small box of crayons and paper, invisible pen books for preschoolers, beeswax or modeling clay. Kids also like looking at books.

We might wrap the toys in tissue for airplanes, in the car the trash gets too much. On flight layovers, Kelly frequents the Salt Lake City airport kids store and lets the kids each choose one small activity toy. The older they are, the more time it takes them to choose–sometimes a benefit, other times not.

3. Games. We play our own version (as in no set rules) of I Spy, What Am I and make up silly games. We also sing songs, each taking a turn when we want to extend the experience, and tell stories.

4. Loveys. We always bring loveys on car rides. Kids often want their loveys on airplanes too. Loveys may help them drop off to sleep in their seats.

5. Playground breaks. A playground is any place the kids can get out of the car and run around for half an hour. We’ve used McDonalds playgrounds, and grassy fields we find by asking at the gas station. It’s sometimes just ten minutes jumping around in the corner of an airport. The brief moment of freedom changes the kids’ energy when they get back in their seats.

Last thought: We’re not always prepared. Grabbing from home a small car, little stuffed animal or doll, and pack of crayons with paper go a long way. If we remember the lovey, we can manage the rest.

1. Food. Choose organic food whenever possible, especially fruits and vegetables with higher pesticide residue.

2. Water. Water districts vary in their testing policies, and water is often not tested for potential contaminants like pharmaceuticals. We use an osmosis water filter for our drinking water, and change the filters as recommended.

3. Air quality. Kelly recently invited an environmental consultant to walk through her house–he was most impressed with the air purifiers in the bedrooms. (Of course he did remind her to place them at least six feet from beds to avoid EMF exposure.) And, air purifiers provide white noise, helpful for sleeping babies when older children tromp through the kitchen demanding snack.

We try to open the windows for ten minutes a day even when it’s cold and snowy outside.

Air quality also means painting with low or no VOC paints, and thinking about chemicals often found in new carpet and furniture choices. Organic or natural rubber mattresses for us and the kids are a good investment as we spend (or hope to) a big part of our days in bed. If we go all the way, organic sheets, blankets and comforters.

4. Non-toxic cleaners. Green cleaners work as well as chemical ones. We have a list of our favorite cleaners, and there are always new products to try. Our houses smell better.

5. Chemical free lawncare. The backyard is where we save money by using less–no pesticides, herbicides, or chemical fertilizer pellets. Our favorite weed killers–vinegar and water in a spray bottle, and four year olds who like digging. When we need supplies, gardening stores carry organic compost and fertilizers.

For preschool, we’ll send our kids to school with lunch, an extra set of clothes, and sometimes arts and crafts supplies.

1. Lunch bag or basket. We choose a vinyl-free, lead safe lunch bag from the lunch totes at Reusable Bags. Kelly finds the Built NY insulated bag fits her kids’ larger sized lunches best since she uses containers for their food.

Lunch baskets can be fun for preschoolers. We like this natural woven basket and the colorful rainbow lunch basket.

2. Food containers. We reuse Gladware or Ziplock snack size light plastic containers, rectangular for sandwiches. The Wrap-N-Mat works well for sandwiches too. Our kids prefer their food packed separately, but these stainless steel containers are another option.

For soups and noodles, a small thermos food jar fits well in a lunch bag. We share more thoughts about what to pack for lunch in our School Lunch Ideas.

3. Water bottle. We give the kids water a smaller sized EcoUsable bottle or Kleen Kanteen (12 or 18 oz). With Kleen Kanteen, the sports top seems easiest for them to use and reduces spills. The ecousable bottles are lighter weight which kids like, younger kids just may need help unscrewing the top.

4. Extra clothes. If we’re avoiding plastic, these large cotton drawstring bags work well for leaving clothes at school. We include extra layers for warmth (like short and long sleeve Ts in the fall). As the seasons change, we swap out to add warmer clothes. We also keep sunscreen and a sun hat in their cubbies.

5. Arts and crafts supplies. Teachers let us know what kind of art supplies they need in class. At home, we clean out our crafts drawer and set up supplies so they’re easy for the kids to get out and put away themselves.

We keep a stack of loose drawing paper next to their Stockmar drawing crayons. Old placemats are good drawing tablets. To recycle unwanted drawings, we take a few, cut them into strips, then staple at the top to use the blank side for market lists.

In response to the EWG study and our own experimenting, we have a new list of favorite sunscreens. All use natural and/or organic ingredients with the full spectrum physical sunblockers zinc oxide and/or titanium dioxide.

An added benefit for beachgoers, the zinc and titanium dioxide in these natural sunscreens are less toxic for coral reefs.

Our current sunscreen favorites:

1. Badger SPF 30 is a solid, easy to apply lotion for kids and adults. It can appear whitish on skin.

2. UV Natural Baby SPF 30 has a moisturizing feel, though some find it a bit oily. Lyndsey uses for herself and her kids. We notice kneading the tube before applying makes the lotion most effective.

3. Trukid Sunny Days Face Stick goes on smooth instead of white and chalky. Lyndsey uses the Trukid stick to apply her kids’ warrior paint. Good for touch ups at the pool.

4. Soleo Organics has a moisturizing feel, not greasy, and is waterproof for up to three hours. Knead the tube before applying.

5. Earth’s Best Baby Care Chemical-Free Sunblock is non-micronized but not too white on the skin. A good starter lotion for six month old babies (the age when doctors advise it’s safe to apply sunscreens). Not reviewed by EWG.

Honorable mentions:

Kelly still uses the non-oily Epicuren Zinc SPF 20 for her face.

California Baby SPF 30 lotions are usually available in stores and the kids like how they apply.

And, we love these Sunday Afternoons SPF Kids Sunhats.