Chronicles of Chaos

April 24, 2007 | Print

Warts

When I get pregnant I get warts, or sometimes just one wart but that’s enough.

I used to think warts were gross, until I got them. They just happen. And I’m not the only postpartum mom struggling with an eradication program.

Pregnancy and breastfeeding can depress the immune system and make warts possible. Then they stay because of that same depressed immune system.

During my first pregnancy, I got a few on my hands. My OB (who had suffered from warts as a teenager) pulled out his nitrogen tank and froze them for me during my prenatal checkups.

When I winced from the pain (yes it hurts a bit), he’d smile and say this is nothing, wait for childbirth. He’s a funny guy.

I remember changing Amelia’s diapers with bandaids on my hands because I dared not expose her to the little bump on my finger.

In the end, drugstore salicylic acid pads (thank God for Dr. Scholl’s) did the trick. I was clear by the time Amelia turned one month old.

My second pregnancy I got one wart on my foot, at my kidney point according to the accupuncturist. That wart apparently is in for the long haul.

Yes, it’s been four years. Gross, unless you’ve had warts and understand the complicated relationships they create.

Every year I try to get rid of it.* I’ve gone to three different dermotologists. I’ve learned there are many opinions about how to get rid of a wart.

The fancy LA doctor wanted to cut it out, as in leave me with a hole in my foot. I said, no thanks. A hole in my foot doesn’t work for me. No one’s going to cover the kitchen while I lie on the couch with my foot propped up on pillows watching The OC on Tivo (but wouldn’t that be nice? Ira Glass likes the OC too).

My treatment plan is Dr. Scholl’s salycylic pads. They say on the box it can take up to 12 weeks.

I started in December and I’m still going strong. I did see another dermotologist (number four) who confirmed that I’m making progress. He said it’s now a surface wart.

I felt proud of myself.

He blasted my foot with nitrogen, and said that should do it. But if not, use the salycylic acid for another few weeks.

And that’s where I am. But I’m determined. This is my moment.

*Other wart remedies that work for some but didn’t for me: duct tape and/or thuja ointment. A homeopath recommended cutting a raw potato and sort of rubbing it on the wart. I haven’t tried that one.

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