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Chronicles of Chaos

Miracles at the Dermatologist’s Office

Living in a rather remote mountain town for four years, I maintained a minimalist skin care regimen.

I was also pregnant or nursing for three of those four years, so my determined course of action was to observe the many, many disturbing alterations to my skin and believe that when I was ready, a dermatologist would kindly, painlessly remove all blemishes.

I’m happy to report that other than the words vascular surgeon uttered in connection with a potential varicose leg vein, my recent dermatologist appointment reveals that I was not delusional.

The little red bumps on my stomach that have an angio name (and are hereditary as well as a result of expanding and shrinking skin, a la pregnancy) can be removed by lasers, as can the little red vein lines on legs. The plantar wart in the center of my foot that’s still embarrassing to talk about despite it’s 5 year existence is actually getting smaller as I enter my 10th month of salicylic acid treatment (the 8 to 12 weeks on the box is for dreamers). I’m advised to continue, I think the doctor even says good job.

After they tell me all this good news, it gets better–they can laser the red bumps right now! A minute of research (Does it hurt? Will it scar?), and I lie back for my clearing.

As they promise, less than 10 days later my stomach is red bump free. The test patch of vein lines just above my knee is also gone.

I read Vogue, I know all these miracle lasers do wonders for women with fancy lives. I just didn’t know for sure that as a real person I could have the same results. I too could leave the dermatologist’s office with a brighter outlook on life.

The skin changes are likely hereditary and would be happening in my late thirties with or without kids. Still, after years of making and feeding babies, I like having (painless!) options for body polishing.

Plus it’s covered by insurance.

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