Chronicles of Chaos

April 19, 2007 | Print

Tired Mom Syndrome or why the planet worries me

The tired mom syndrome occurs when I’m too tired to do anything other than watch TV or lie in bed, but for some reason feel compelled to be productive (that’s the syndrome aspect of it).

It struck the other night after watching “the Green” on the Sundance Channel.

At 10 pm I became obsessed with reducing my carbon emissions. And I have to do it right now.

I start with changing lightbulbs. I’ve had the lower energy burning kind (otherwise known as fluorescent) stashed in the cabinet for weeks.

On my way to change the first lamp, I drop my low energy bulb. It shatters on the floor, shards of glass shooting under the table and couch.

I pick up the biggest pieces, then apply the dustbuster. I always have the sensation when dustbusting that the thing is spitting the dust and particles out its backside into my face.

By the time the floor’s clean, I’m convinced I have glass in my eye.

I debate the risk of blindness, whether it could be dust instead of glass, whether a dust particle is equally dangerous (in terms of blindness), and whether I’m imagining the whole thing. Or perhaps the scratchy eye is allergies, the allergies in one eye kind.

This internal monologue does not thwart my need to act.

I decide to stop following my computer consultant’s backup system advice to leave my computer on sleep mode 24 hours a day. Think of all the energy I could save by turning the thing off every night.

But it turns out my wireless mouse is out of batteries. While replacing the batteries, I break the mouse.

At this point Michael slips from amused to annoyed. He’s brushing his teeth for bed. I’m stabbing my serene looking white plastic Mac mouse with a kitchen knife, in an attempt to fix it or at the least remove the brand new batteries that I managed to lock inside the thing.

Finally I stop the madness. I stash the mouse in a drawer (it’s still there) and climb into bed.

Then I think about the documentary I watched, “A Crude Awakening: The Oil Crash”.

It goes like this…

We’re running out of fossil fuel.

Carbon emissions are high and increasing at an alarming rate.

We don’t have the alternative energy technology to meet our energy needs by the time we run out of fossil fuels or to relieve the earth from the damage of carbon emissions.

Translated, this means there’s a good chance that if Amelia, Wyatt and Oliver have children, they will never fly on an airplane because air travel will exist only for the very rich, or for nobody at all anymore (except the military I bet).

Not that everyone flies around on planes all the time and that’s the key to happiness, but still. No more airplanes.

The way we live now is going to change. We can change it ourselves, or we can wait for the other shoe to drop–and by the way even if we change, that shoe is falling.

I wake up in the morning less freaked out, but still unnerved. With each day my passion for the issue dwindles a bit, meaning I’m less active in my carbon reduction program.

Which is why those documentaries must be strong on message, and why I need to keep watching them.

It’s easy to lull myself into the safety of a sunny spring day.

So I’ve decided to turn my carbon reduction program into a list. Because I’m good at lists, I love the assignment and completion aspect.

I’m starting with climatecrisis.net take action page (and turning off my computer at night), cause I’ve got to start somewhere.

And I do feel better.

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