Chronicles of Chaos

July 2, 2007 | Print

My Boob Job

My boob job is done with lasers.

The doctor programs my desired dimensions into the laser computer while I lie on the padded (like when you get a massage) table. Then the machine turns on, moves gently over my chest for three short minutes.

My only sensation is a slight warmth in my upper torso. I do wear a silk eye mask.

Before I know it, the doctor tells me the procedure is over, and a success. They wheel me to a quiet room where I rest for an hour while the whole thing “sets” as they call it. Gentle flute music lulls me to sleep.

I wake without any pain or signs of bruising. The nurse reminds me to take it easy for a few days, after which I can resume my normal routines.

I put on my clothes, including my new larger bra, and Michael drives me home. I get to lie on the couch and watch whatever I want on TV for two days, then I’m back on my feet.

I feel terrific. Several people compliment me on how healthy I look, no one notices my little augmentation.

I never have to go back for touch ups or redos, there’s no scarring, leaking or complications for my mammograms.

I’d be happy to recommend my doctor. The only problem is being imaginary, he’s a bit hard to reach.

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