Simple Tips
Jobs for Preschoolers (and How to Avoid Nagging)
Preschoolers take more and more responsibility for their own care and simple jobs around the house. They may dress themselves, brush their hair, put on shoes, set the table, fold napkins and towels from the laundry, pull the covers up to make their bed, and clear their dishes from the table after a meal.
These new responsibilities are more jobs than chores. Preschoolers learn how to care for themselves and others, how to contribute to the family. They enjoy participating and feeling more autonomous.
Once they have a few usual jobs, we may find ourselves in the dynamic of frequent reminding. We also notice our patience slipping away when the jobs remain uncompleted.
We’ve found a few approaches that support us and our kids through these moments.
• We make sure what we’re asking of our kids is within their range of abilities. If getting a jacket from the closet is repeatedly challenging, we get the jacket and let them focus on putting on their shoes. We start earlier if they need more time getting ready for outings or setting the table for dinner.
And each child may have a their own level of readiness–feeding the dog because it’s fun is a great place to start. If they drift to playing when they’re supposed to be getting dressed for school, we hang out in their rooms and guide them: “Oh, here’s the shirt you picked out.”
We build slowly so they’re comfortable with their jobs before we add a new one. We also notice what our kids enjoy–if they carry around big buckets of sand at the park, we might enlist their help unloading grocery bags from the car.
• When we’re telling our kids it’s time to get dressed, we pause to focus on them rather than calling out over our shoulder as we’re cleaning the kitchen.
• We try to give just one reminder, meaning ask/tell only twice. If a task remains undone, we comment on the situation rather than the child, and we might make it easier for them to finish: “Oh I see your hair is a little tussled, here’s your hairbrush.”
• If we’re in a hurry and feeling impatient, we take a breath. When we get anxious, kids tend to slow down rather than pick up the pace.
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